If the people approaching my father’s casket meant to comfort me, they failed.
“Your father’s in heaven now,” one said.
“He’s in a better place.” I looked at that man like he had lost his mind.
“A better place?” I fumed later.
“As far as I’m concerned, he should be here with me!”

Fortunately, Mum handled the challenge of raising three Teenagers and a two-year old. Returning to college, in a few years she graduated and became a primary school teacher. while she was an island of calm amid turmoil, at 13 I wasn’t ready for the shock of losing Dad. People said that time healed all wounds, but it only masked my pain. By age 16 I had quit school and went to work at a tailoring shop, selling men’s clothing. With cash in my hands and a new gang of friends, I ran headlong into all the world had to offer.

Although I grew up attending church and knew right from wrong, the lure of this new life was strong. I stopped going to church and learned how to “paint the town red.” Gradually, all my thoughts centered on myself. If it felt good, I did it. I also became fascinated with the occult. I got involved with Ouija Boards, hypnosis and séances. I also loved to saturate my mind with music by bands like Black Sabbath, who sang praises to Satan.

This whirlwind of insanity came to an abrupt end two years later. At 2 o’clock one morning, the police appeared at my home. among the charges I faced for a mini crime spree with my new “friends” were assault and robbery.

While I drew a two-year sentence, those who blabbed to the police got off with reduced or minimal jail time. Soured by the realisation that my shallow buddies wouldn’t stick around when the going got tough, I felt abandoned and miserable. However, one night in my jail cell, I remembered the promises of God I heard as a young boy. When I called out to Him for help, I suddenly sensed His love flowing into my body.

Even better, I gained renewed strength to finish my sentence. Yet, as soon as that crisis passed, I forgot about God.When the authorities released me, my main vow was to never “go inside” again. Separating myself from my old crowd, I decided it was time to settle down. At the age of 21 I married. However, I never gave up dabbling with Ouija Boards, and other mystical experiences. This and other bad habits led to a rocky marriage. After six years, we separated. I moved 250 miles south to Liverpool (UK) with divorce proceedings pending. It would be another seven years before the final divorce and a custody battle which I lost. The one positive step I took during these years was to learn a trade as an electronics service engineer. Deciding to build a new life, in Liverpool I chose to further my studies at a technical college. With additional credentials under my belt, I expected to be happy. But being qualified in electronics and holding a steady job didn’t bring me any joy. Again, I found my spirits sinking. I had tried the occult, crime, drink, marriage, work and other pursuits. Yet, inside the void felt so deep I didn’t think it could be filled. Finally, after a traumatic visit to my ex-wife and son, I found myself so depressed I wondered if I could go on.
“Oh God!” I cried out the night I hit bottom.
“If You are there, then please help me, because I have had enough of this life.”
God heard that cry. Through a series of remarkable events, my girlfriend (now my wife) and I wound up going to a meeting at a football stadium in Liverpool. The speaker was an American named Billy Graham. We didn’t know anything about him. We accepted a friend’s invitation because we thought Graham would be teaching on how to live a positive life. What Joan and I heard shocked us.
“If you are not for Jesus, then you are against him,” this speaker said.
“You are a sinner and need to ask Christ to forgive you.” We sat there in torment for what seemed like an age. Finally, Joan walked to the front and pledged to follow Jesus. Meanwhile, I hung back. Grudgingly, I signed a card saying I had made a decision to live for Christ. In reality, I didn’t intend to follow through with that commitment.

Soon after, the vicar at a nearby church came to see us. That upset me. I may have signed a card, but I didn’t plan on getting involved in religion. Then, because of a problem with our business, one weekend I visited a friend’s home in Scotland. I went intending to talk about business, but found myself in a prayer meeting and Bible study. That night it felt like God grabbed hold of me. The Holy Spirit convicted me of my sin. I could barely stand. I could see myself with my arrogance and sin from God’s view, and I did not like what I saw. I knew I was bound for hell and felt thoroughly wretched. At that moment, I knew I had to honour the decision I had made some three weeks earlier at Anfield Football Ground in Liverpool. Right then, I told God I was sorry for ignoring His Son for so many years. I asked Him to forgive me and show me how to make Jesus the Lord of my life.

A month later Joan and I attended a Christian businessmen’s meeting in Southport, where we heard a speaker from New Zealand. We also had a powerful encounter with the Holy Spirit, which gave us a constant sense of God’s presence and enabled us to pray in a new, heavenly language Soon, I felt God leading me to start a similar meeting for businessmen where we lived. Three months later, we started a group in our area.

In addition, I soon had the honour of traveling with a group of Christian businessmen to Portugal. There we prayed and saw people healed and set free of bad habits, personal crises and marital problems. Many decided to follow Jesus Christ, and many others received the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. That was the beginning of a new life that is as different from my past as night is from day. To be honest, I won’t pretend that these past 22 years have been perfect. Like any other family, we have been through difficult times and various struggles.

Still, every time we face a challenge God is there to help and provide for our needs. He even turned my attitude toward money on its head. I no longer care how much money I make, but how much I can invest to help spread the good news about Jesus.

Recently I needed a sizable sum to pay some serious debts. After I prayed, God met my need from two different sources. A surprise? Not for the God who took an arrogant God-hater and turned him into a loving and happy father and husband. He is in the business of transforming wretched lives. His love turned my life around.

1. Princess Mashiloane Says:
   November 5th, 2009 at 11:19 am

   I love Heavenly Father with all my heart, right now me and husband have started a business which I’m not sure where te money is going to come from to fund our business idea. We have gone to pillar to post but nothing I’m starting to wonder if God wants us to do this. Lots of those people which our business caters for love the idea now my question is Why isn’t Heavenly Father helping us. We are in debts for believing in our dream which we believe Heavenly Father give us. I want, need and have to believe God will meet our financial need from any source.. please help me pray my famil needs this …Moreover we need more of God